What Kind Of Parent Are You?

The word mother and father, are not nouns. According to me, they are verbs, because as a parent it is not just who you are but what you do which is important. And doing something whether good or bad is an action and all action words are verbs.

Have you heard of the Eucalyptus Rainbow Tree seen in the rain forests of Costa Rica? They are known for their beautiful and colorful barks. What is unique is that the tree keeps shedding its decaying bark from time to time and develops a new one and this makes it healthy and strong. Similarly if children should stand strong and healthy(both physically & emotionally), then it’s time for parents to play a constructive role. They should stand strong like the Rainbow Tree, helping their kids shed all the negativity around them and make them bloom in their own unique way.

There are four different styles of parenting as given below.

1)  Authoritative Style: These parents are highly responsive but very demanding. The parental control is high, so also is the affection for the child. Parents exhibiting this style treat their children with respect and love. However they also expect them to be high achievers and therefore pressurise the child all the time. Such parents need to understand that all children cannot excel in every field & they have to be given the freedom to choose.

2) Authoritarian Style: Here the parents are highly demanding but not responsive. They are high on controlling the child but do not show much love and affection. They feel it is their right to demand from the child what they failed to achieve in their lives. After some time children of such parents succumb to the pressure by becoming under achievers.

3) Permissive Style: Parents exhibiting this style are responsive but not demanding. In other words they are high on affection but low in control. Such parents will do anything & go to any extent to keep the child happy. They think that this behavior makes them ‘good parents’ but it results  in  children  becoming ‘spoilt brats’. Such kids are not able to take failures in their lives and therefore have the tendency to become depressed as they grow up.

4) Unengaged Style: Here parents are neither demanding nor responsive. They are low in control & in affection. In other words indifferent. It does not matter to them whether the child is happy or sad, disciplined or unruly, exhibits positive or negative behaviour. Children of such parents tend to go astray in their lives.

So, what kind of parenting style do you possess? It’s time for some serious reflection parents, and may be time to change patterns & style of parenting.

None of these can be considered as the best. The best style of parenting should be a mix of all the styles and should have a uniqueness, which makes it your individual style. If you are very demanding all the time, or show only affection or have no control over the kids or if you are absolutely indifferent, that is not the right way of parenting. As parents you have to be strict and demanding at times, you need to show indifference sometimes, you need to pamper your child once in a while and at some point in their life, you need to let them be themselves. Only then can they bloom in this challenging world .

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